Love in the Time of the Internet and Artificial Intelligence

Finally I have time to sit down and write what I thought about this film! I've been thinking about it since I saw it a few days ago and I think it's a brilliant movie. I was expecting so much from it and it didn't disappoint so I'm very happy about that.

While listening to the soundtrack it made me realize something. Maybe I like this movie so much is because I can relate to it? Am I sad and lonely like Theodore but I just don't want to admit it? He's just too damn lonely all the time and he was happy for that time when he was in love with Samantha, the OS. Which is sad once you think about it... when you can reach out and touch someone and when you actually have REAL friends, how can something artificial make you the happiest? Is it because that thing is a reflection of you and projections of your hopes and dreams? Why would you rather spend more time with something that won't go anywhere rather than start with something that would... like with Theodore and the Olivia Wilde character? Is it because you're afraid of getting hurt? Isn't getting hurt also a part of the whole experience?

And is it true that you won't get hurt? I mean, he seemed pretty hurt when she went away didn't he? I've always thought being in love begins with letting people in, and in this case Theodore let Samantha in. It didn't matter if she was artificial. If you give someone a chance to be a part of your life he/she will always be there with you when you go through life even if you've parted ways. Once you've let him  into your heart and thoughts he'll always be there with you, and this is what "forever" means to me.

Looking at it from this angle, could it be that eventually, someone who means the world to you, that one person who you can't live without, can he or she be just someone you used to know in a couple of years?

I don't really have the answer to that. I just know people serve a function in our lives and maybe they just have to go. We just have to let them go because maybe it also isn't the right time to have them with us or maybe they need to have time apart from us.

"Her" - A Pre-Movie Viewing Reflection on Artificial Love

I haven't actually seen this movie by Spike Jonze and I am so excited to see what the hype is about. Ever since I saw A.I. and that Big Bang Theory episode where Raj falls in love with Siri I have been wondering if technology would develop so that artificial intelligence could and would replace humans in all aspects... even in love.

I was talking to my friend last week about the movie and this is how it went:

Me: The creepy thing is it could happen
Me: In the future, people could substitute human interaction with computers
Him: Yeah maybe I am a robot you never know
Me: Yeah. I don't mind
Me: Eleanor: :)
Him: Oh really?
Me: If you're a robot?
Me: What's wrong with that?
Me: If you could interact with me despite being one then that's just awesome
Me: Haha isn't that the whole premise of the movie?
Him: Haha yeah but he falls in love right?  That is like saying you could fall in love with a talking goat just because it can interact with you its still a goat
Me: Hmmm a talking goat
Me: Yeah, kinda gross if you put it that way
Me: Hahaha
Him: Yeah I guess it is whatever perspective you put it in
Me: I saw this documentary on tv once
Me:  This guy had a life sized blow up doll
Me: And he would take it with him wherever he went
Me: He said he was in love with it
Him: A woman who doesn't talk back.  Every mans dream.
Me: Haha well... It'll get boring
Me: I'd rather have the talking goat ;)
Him: Hahaha well at least you can have a nice meal if the goat steps out of line too much
Me: I don't think I can do that, I'd be too attached to it
Me: Maybe swap it with a non talking goat, I dunno...

---

First of all, I am still not that convinced that liking a thinking thing is so far-fetched, even if the interaction is limited to a string of texts and conversations. I mean, technology has made it possible for human interaction to be limited to texts and video after all. I said like, not fall in love, though. To get to the next step you need to actually breathe the same air and touch someone. So I guess I need to actually have Spike Jonze convince me that it IS possible to love a voice and an artificial one at that. For all intents and purposes Samantha might have been programmed to interact with Theodore and make him fall in love with her but who says this would work on a guy that was less vulnerable or available than he is? Maybe the fit wouldn't be there every time? After all, we fall in love with a person's flaws most of all. I wouldn't be surprised if falling in love with a non-human can be considered as the ultimate escape from reality and the human desire for connection that we have in us. Or maybe it's escape from committing yourself to reality because even if your emotions are engaged you're not really there, you can unplug whenever you want. It's investing emotions on something that doesn't really care or have it's own emotions, come to think of it. And there lies the conundrum: Who's the real robot in this scenario? The one who can't help but be one because "She" is or the one who acts like one despite being Human?

The Choco Chip Promise

The other week I was craving for choco chip cookies, so much that I was thinking how good it  would be to make some. I was pleasantly surprised when that day I got to eat some during my meeting! It was so weird, like I willed them to reality. And so I think things if they were meant to be will just happen. That is the Choco Chip Promise of God and the Universe to me. When things get difficult and seemingly impossible I should remember this moment and just believe that good luck will bring what's due to me eventually.

I don't know what it is about wanting to study abroad but I've wanted to since I could remember. Somehow I've come to the conclusion that if I do go my options will be so much more than if I didn't. Which isn't necessarily true.

Someone recently asked me if I wanted to leave the Philippines and honestly, I don't know. I love Manila but the resources here are limited and I can be so much more than I am now. I can develop myself into a criminal law expert and do research abroad, about criminal law trends; that would be awesome. I really really hope I could join the Max Planck team to Germany, I would kill for a spot on that trip. Like literally drop everything, just to go and spend all my own money. If my paper proposals don't make it I would be sad and try really hard to have another go. It's that important to me.

God, I know this is meant to be. I know You want this opportunity for me so please make my paper good and make everything fair in the world. I desperately want to go. I deserve this chance. I claim it and I know God will make it possible for me to make this the best paper I've done EVER.

Goals for before I turn 35

Edited from my entry last year...

I'm about to turn 34 real soon so I thought of some things I can do in the next year to make my 35 years of existence really substantial:

1. Go on a European tour. (Well this year, I'm going to Japan and Australia! Just as good. ;)  )
2. Fall in love. Get engaged. Or at least get a boyfriend. (Nuninu. At least I have a BOYfriend)
3. Learn a foreign language. (Will study German again.)
4. Get my Ll.M. (I might have a shot at studying for a bit in Germany!)
5. Join a marathon.Or at least a half marathon. (Recently went to the gym again,went jogging so on my way)
6.Go on a three day spiritual retreat. (Hmm, will do this during holy week)
7.Read all the books in my reading list. (My IPad is stocked, yo.)
8. Reach my ideal weight goal. (Going on a cleanse so I look great by April)
9. Get published. In a newspaper or magazine. (I'm going to actively blog this year. Baby steps!)
10. Get my own car and apartment. (Done and done)
11. Learn how to drive. And dive. (This is the year I am going to drive! Count on it.)
12. Travel alone. (Doing this for KL and Kyoto! ;) )

And may I add:

13. Save more and take it seriously 

14. Get cultural (watch more plays)

15. Love myself more (splurge once in a while)

My Last First Kiss (And other musings)

I came across this article today called "When You Want to Kiss Them" and it's been a while since I read anything that really had me engaged like that...

"There comes a time when, more than anything else in your entire life, you want to kiss a certain someone for the first time. And that moment scratches a line across your life path, dividing it into the time before you kissed them and the time after you kissed. Whenever you find yourself hovering above that line, briefly paused, your faces inches from each other, as you share the same air, conversing only with your eyes; that burning anticipation is one of the best moments we ever know. And hopefully, it’s followed by an even better moment when hesitation evaporates and you savor that first lip smack like a blissed-out love junkie."

Beautiful writing. Sometimes I wish I could relate more but then that really can't be helped. I mean, I have been infatuated lots of times but in love? I'm not really sure. People are really casual about kissing because it isn't sex and it doesn't have any consequences... some have told me it's supposed to be fun and I shouldn't obsess over who I'm kissing. I could've made out with random dudes during dates if I wanted to, you know. It's just that I never really got it into my head that I wanted it to be without someone other than a guy I cared about and not just a casual date. And no, it isn't about being a prude or not wanting intimacy. It's gotten to a point when I could live without it a while longer.

 I want to feel like that guy in the article did and know that it was a singular awesome experience. I think kissing someone is really special, it's the first step towards opening a part of yourself to the possibility of entwining lives with another person.

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.”

- Emil Ludwig

Random Thoughts vs. Cryptic Status Messages

1. If I didn't know any better I swear I was under a spell or something. I can't think straight and I think about THIS all the time.

2. I really do have to make a clear five-year plan. A definitive one. With scenarios. Ooooh, next blog entry.

3. I told my brother I was getting married in three years. He said, "NO." Hahaha! He kills me.

4. I'm going to Australia next year. Then the US the year after. Then Australia/Germany/UK or The Netherlands on 2016. Yeah, sounds like a plan. :)

5. Bought red, red lipstick which will make vampy women all over the world weep.

The Catcher in the Rye: A Look at Sad and Privileged Youth

I just finished reading J.D. Salinger's famous novel about Holden Caulfield, who I am torn to like and hate at the same time... He's not really someone you can claim is a good person or even one you would think would amount to much since all throughout the book he's too preoccupied with his own feelings of smugness and superiority over the other people he comes across with. Mostly he thinks everyone else is stupid and fake and he laughs at them, sometimes not so secretly. When asked about one thing he really liked, all he can think about is his deceased brother Allie, who died when he was young and who he sometimes converses with in his head.

Holden Caulfield seems like a nice, sensitive boy though and it's hard not to overlook his flaws when he just seems like he tries so hard to cope with the phoniness of society and the repercussions of growing up and having to live up to the expectations of his parents, teachers and peers. I liked the fact that he was a romantic though. He only wanted to have sex with people he had feelings for, or so he said. However in another instance he was fascinated with "perverted" acts that he saw people do... like spitting water in the face of the other person. It leads one to wonder when Holden would take that next step despite of his romantic notions.

In the end, he ended up in a psychiatric hospital to get psychoanalysis before he went back to school. I have to wonder if Holden Caulfield is the face of American youth back then and now (since so many people relate to him) does it mean that there are a lot of sad, cynical young Americans who are that way for what? For being privileged and too smart for their own good? Is being depressed an indication of a lofty state of mind or must the youth be enlightened and educated and molded so they can move forward and continue in their path to conformity, as the ending suggests?

Lots to think about. Will get back to you.