Last night I admit, I may have said some things I would not have otherwise said had I not been bored out of my skull and suffering from ennui.
en·nui - [ahn-wee, ahn-wee; French ahn-nwee] (noun) - a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom:
Anyway, I woke up this morning, earlier than usual and I suddenly felt like this is it. I've utterly lost interest in normal everyday things. I was so elated the evening before that I guess it sapped up my energy and made me DONE. What the hell am I supposed to do with this endless strings of (mis)communication and attempts at a connection? And it's not like I even care anymore. It was just exhausting. I needed a change and soon.
So this friend of mine said she had a job offer at an unnamed country and I found myself fascinated with the possibilities of living in another country like her. ME! Who never so much as spent a day fending for herself, away from my family at last. Hmm. Definitely attractive.
Finally, a challenge! There have been far and between, I was definitely up to it. I wish I could finally do it. Cut the strings, go to another place, actually study again like I've always wanted to do. I just hope things work out and I find myself where I want to be in a year.
Today I actually took the initial steps to get the requirements for the scholarships I've been keeping my eye on. I haven't really decided what to get, just that it's going to be a Masters in Law. Probably related to Criminal Law, because of my DOJ work? Oh Universe, please make this work. I promise to be focused and punctual and more determined than ever.
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